"The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over me with singing."
I have read this verse many times and each time I am more amazed at how much God loves me.
It blows my mind.
There is such depth to this verse. God's love is not shallow or conditional.
It is all consuming.
I am never separated from His love and strength.
He rejoices over me!
Sometimes in order for me to rest in His love, I need to be quiet in His love.
God is full of joy and I'm sure He dances, crazy enough He dances over me and rejoices over me with His singing.
John Piper says, "If a mere spoken word from God's mouth brought all that we see around us into existence, what would happen if He sang?"
"Grace is not logical, but it sure is lovely." (Steve Beard)
It means so many things to so many people. I have had the privilege of worshiping with people all over the world. In each country it is very different, but the common factor between them all is who the worship is for.
I loved worship in Kenya. It was loud, crazy, exuberant, and full of life. There are many Sundays I sit in my home church and wish that we were dancing and banging on the walls! There is something to be said about worship that is oozing with God's presence and His joy.
There is nothing in the world like it.
It is unique, soulful, refreshing and so very necessary for our Christian walk.
I don't know a day that I go through without some kind of praise and worship playing in the background. It is almost the theme song to my life. Now there are days when it is dark and the worship is faint, but then there are days where the worship is loud and joyful.
I have been learning over the past few months how worship can be a part of my life in many ways. Not just through song and music, but in the rustling of the trees, the laughter of children and the quiet morning moments with my Father and I.
Worship is beautiful and one of the secret desires of my heart is to continue traveling the world and joining other nations in worship.
The rush of holidays are over, the fast pace schedule has slowed and I find myself very reflective of what my life has looked like the past few months.
It has been a whirlwind of adventure and learning, to say the least. Even though I have been home from Kenya for over 2 months there are days when I wake up and I miss it - oh so very much.
But the good thing is, is that when I miss Kenya I remind myself to pray for Kenya - to uphold those who are still there and those who are heading there in the days to come.
Right now I am facing a big challenge of fundraising for New Adventures. They have such a financial need and I am putting most of my effort over these few months into raising money for them.
It's a big challenge, but when have I ever been scared of a big challenge?!
God is able to provide. That truth is so evident in the school's history, so why stop trusting now?
Will you join me in praying for New Adventures School? Amazing things are happening there and so much joy and love has been woven into the very fibers of that school and it's students and teachers.
God does amazing things all around the world everyday, but right now as this new year starts I am reflective of the amazing things God has done in Kibera, Kenya at the New Adventures School!!
The students will start school again in a few weeks and they will be starting with the addition of a new building!
Our tutoring program was a success and the team that arrives at the end of January will be be starting it up again when they arrive.
Good things are happening - all the glory goes to God!
The last few weeks I have spent much time in prayer asking God for purpose and direction for my role at New Adventures School. This morning I woke up and my heart is excited! I have a list of things I would like to accomplish for New Adventures. It's funny to say but I feel that I have awakened with a renewed passion and purpose - These next few months are going to be quite busy! I have high goals, but I have no doubt much can be accomplished!
I will give more updates as things progress, but right now I would ask that you join with me in prayer - for New Adventures and for the things I would like to accomplish. God loves that school and the teachers and students in it. I do as well.
1 John 3:18
Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.
Here is my first official update since leaving Kenya a week ago.
I can't say the transition has been easy, but I can say that God is faithful. I have experienced his peace and joy in ways like never before. The last few days have been full of catching up with Paul, family and friends, but also processing through the emotions of what it means to be home earlier than expected.
God has given me peace, crazy peace, that at times I cannot comprehend. It is all consuming and reminds me over and over again of how loving our God really is.
So in the craziness of the last few days I have defined a few things that I would like to share with all of you.
My new job description! It is a little hazy, but as the weeks pass I am sure it will become clearer. Right now my main job is to work for Adventures in Missions till May 2009. I am still going to be living off of my support and investing my time in school responsibilities. On a day to day basis I will be working on support raising for the school,a school update, and projects that come along involving teacher contracts, supplies, etc. Michelle and I had great visions of what we could accomplish and that is still where we stand. I am excited to make an official presentation of the school and what it is about. I would like to share it with our current supporters and also our potential new ones.
There is much work to be done for New Adventures School in Kenya and I am excited to be a small part of that! Please continue to pray for me as I embark on this role within Adventures in Missions. I am excited to see what will happen these next few months!
There is a song that I would like to share with you - well the lyrics - no singing from me! It has been a song that is constantly played in my ipod, computer and in my car. The lyrics are the thoughts of my heart.
You are Good
When the sun starts to rise and I open my eyes
You are good, so good
In the heat of the day with each stone that I lay
You are good, so good
With every breath I take in
I'll tell you I'm grateful again
When the moon rises high before each kiss goodnight
You are good, so good
When the road starts to turn around each bend I've learned
And when somebody's hand holds me up, helps me stand
You are so good
With every breath I take in
I'll tell you I'm grateful again
Cause it's more than enough just to know I am loved
And you are good
So how can I thank you and what can I bring?
What can a poor man lay at the feet of a king?
So I'll sing you a love song it's all that I have
To tell you I'm grateful for holding my life in your hands
When it's dark and it's cold and I can't feel my soul
You are still good
When the world is gone gray and the rain's here to stay
You are still good
With every breath I take in
I'll tell you I'm grateful again
And the storm may swell even then it is well
And you are good
So how can I thank you and what can I bring?
What can a poor man lay at the feet of a king?
So I'll sing you a love song it's all that I have
To tell you I'm grateful for holding my life in your hands
It seems that this will be my last update from Kenya. It is bittersweet.
I know that it will be wonderful to see my family and friends in New Jersey, to hopefully start feeling better, but it is hard to leave my family here in Kenya.
These past 2 months I have grown close to the leadership team, the Real Life team and made some amazing Kenyan friends. I know that I am leaving a piece of my heart here in Kenya.
This past week has been very challenging - spiritually, emotionally and physically. On Sunday I did not feel good, had a slight fever, but just rested and figured I would be better by Monday. The chain of events that followed were frustrating to say the least. I missed the entire week of ministry because on Tuesday morning at around 2 am I woke up and could not breathe! I was congested, but this was serious. My chest hurt and I was a little panicked! So later that morning I headed back to Nairobi hospital for the 3rd time since coming to Kenya. I saw a dr. I have seen before and he diagnosed me with bronchitis with asthmatic complications.
I have to be honest and tell you my first thought was thanks a lot God. What were you thinking!? But after picking up my numerous prescriptions I was in my apartment alone and had a great time talking to my Heavenly Father. I poured out my frustrations, fears and thoughts. I love that we are able to talk to God and He listens!
I spent some time reading some of my favorite Psalms and then through my favorite book Philippians. I love that my Father loves me enough to calm my heart.
So this next week will be spent saying goodbye, spending some much needed time at the school and just tying up all loose ends. It will be a week of big transitions and emotions I am sure, but I am still confident that God has a purpose. I am finding much joy in knowing that He is walking this out with me and showing me day by day what He has for me!
I know that Kenya will always be a part of who I am, who God is making me to be, but for now it is a short chapter in my life.
Please continue to pray for me this week as I transition from ministry here in Kenya to being at home in the states.
God is good and faithful and I can't wait to see where He leads me next!
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weakness, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
There are many things on my heart as I write this update today, but the biggest thing I need to share with my amazing group of family, friends, and supporters is that God has changed the direction of this season of my life.
My health has not improved and I am now experiencing more side effects from the high elevation. They are to the point of it is hard to function on a day-to-day basis here in Kenya. God however is completely in control of this situation and after much prayer a decision has made. I am coming home to the states in 2 weeks. It will roughly be around the 25th of October.
My heart is deeply torn over this decision and I can be very candid and tell you it was not an easy decision to make. I know in my heart this is one of those times that I do not understand the ways of God. I am trusting and choosing to be joyful in all of this, but my human nature wants to rebel and be angry! That verse has been a huge reminder to me that all the glory goes to God even through this craziness. I know that it is only by His strength that I have been able to get each morning the last 4 weeks and participate in ministry, team stuff, etc. The glory goes to Him even though plans are changing. I know that He is in control and when I am weak then He makes me strong!
Here is what is going to happen from this point on. I am going to be involved with the tutoring program for the next two weeks (which I will tell you about in a minute!) and then once I am back in the states I will take on a role that is a support for the school. I am not sure what it will look like exactly but I know that it will still involve being connected to New Adventures School.
I am excited that God knows way better than I do what He wants for this next season of my life, which is starting quicker than I anticipated! I am opening my heart to the possibilities that God will put before me! Please join me in praying about what my responsibilities will look like!
Please feel free to email me if you have any questions about any of this.
So on a more lighthearted note. Here is an update on life in Kenya. The tutoring program just completed its first official week, not without its craziness of course. But already we are seeing great progress. We have 8 tutors who are split between 6th and 7th grade. Each tutor has 3 students in their grade level. They are currently working with the students in the subjects of Math, English and Science.
The students not only need help academically, but in self-esteem and confidence as well. We are prayerfully planning tutoring sessions that not only involve teaching, but encouragement and the sharing of God's love. It is a challenge for some of our students to take on this huge task of teaching and discipleship. However our team is doing a great job of thinking outside the box and trying to provide various manipulatives and learning tools that will help the students succeed! I absolutely love walking from group to group and watching our students come out of their comfort zone and throw themselves wholeheartedly into teaching these amazing kids. The tutor program has gotten off to a great start.
Now at the very end of this update I would just love to share with you an experience I was able to have here in Kenya. Yesterday we took the team to a giraffe park right outside Nairobi. At the park we were given the opportunity to feed the giraffes and if we chose to kiss the giraffes! Meaning you stick a piece of food between your lips and you let the giraffe take it out! Basically you get a nice, big, scratch kiss with a tongue that is humungous! Here is a picture for your enjoyment!
I will send one more update before I leave Kenya. Thanks for all of your prayers. Please continue to pray for me as these next two weeks unfold. I am confident in God that He will give me the strength and grace I need to face each day!
It seems that this
past month of life has been one big learning experience, however this morning
was not only a learning experience, but also a major adrenaline rush as well!
The three
musketeers (Michelle, Denise and I) headed out to Karen (a nearby town) for our
first ever matatu driving lesson. Here is a quick side note - Matatus are the
Kenyan version of a van. Think old-school Volkswagon van and there you have it!
Off we went
bumbling down the road in our Adventures in Missions matatu looking for a quiet
road away from the busy traffic. That is something hard to find around Nairobi.
Traffic is constant and is not necessarily made up of just cars. For example
once I was driving on the main road I had to constantly dodge cars, taxis,
buses, public matatus, people on foot, bicycles, cows, goats, men with carts
and at one point we even saw camels on the side of the road! Talk about
aggressive driving - there can be no daydreaming when you are at the wheel or
you will have someone or something under your wheel.
Needless to say
along with adjusting to driving with so much commotion you are also driving on
the other side of the car and the other side of the road.
By the time I had
driven down a dirt road, onto a main road, gotten gas, made it through a
round-about, I was ready for a nap!
The other fun
thing about driving in Kenya is the complete lack of traffic patterns! You can
be driving a straight road and almost every 20 feet or so be forced to swerve around
a big truck, a person or another matatu OR be driving on a straight one lane
road and suddenly there are multiple lanes because if people are tired of
waiting in traffic they attempt to get ahead of it. There does not seem to be
any rhyme or reason to that so many lanes are created, the shoulder is used for
passing and driving and you can suddenly be very close to cars on both sides if
you are not careful!
After my first
matatu lesson this morning I learned that yes I know along the way I will be driving
in Kenyan traffic again. However as for the big picture I am far more content
watching others navigate through the craziness than it actually being me doing
the navigating! Last weekend I saw a bumper sticker that said I survived a
matatu ride - how very true that was today! Although I should say everyone
around me survived my matatu driving!
On a side note - my vertigo still continues to be an ongoing issue. The world spins faster and faster everyday it seems. Please continue to pray that God would be glorified through this every single day!!!
To start things off here is a picture from my surprise 27th birthday party with the team! What a good night of fun & craziness!
This
blog is one I never thought I would have to write. I guess I am trying to say I
didn't see life coming the way that it has. Yesterday on my 27th
birthday I had a doctor's appointment. I headed to the appointment with an open
mind about what Dr. Silverstein was going to tell me. I went into his office
and sat down and he looked at me and said, "Here's the deal. I have looked at
the MRI results and they found abnormalities in the arteries in your ears. That
means that because of those abnormalities you are affected by living in places
of high elevation. (Quick side note: Nairobi is 5,000 ft. above sea level).
Honestly I still don't understand the
medical aspect of this news, but he went on to say that because of the high
elevation that I have lived in the past month, along with travel and the
abnormalities my vertigo has gone to an extreme level.
The
thoughts were whirling inside my head and I was not quite sure what to do with
this news. As I left the office and walked outside to wait for my taxi and all
that kept coming to mind was God - is this for real? You called me to Kenya and
now here I am 2 weeks into this journey and I am being told to go home.
So now
here I sit two days later and the thoughts are still whirling in my head as the
world around me whirls too! I don't doubt who God is and the plans He has - He
always has a purpose and a plan in place for us. But I guess my struggle is
when do I decide to alter this dream for Kenya? I would ask that you pray with
me as I seek God and the new plans or changed plans He has for my life these
upcoming months! I have not yet made a decision as to what to do. I am aware
that my vertigo will progressively get worse the longer I stay in high
elevation... But I also very aware that God is bigger than this stupid vertigo
and He is taking care of me. What an amazing reassurance to carry around in my
heart. I love my Heavenly Father for his constant strength and grace to face
each day.
So
unexpected grace, here it is in a very tangible way -
I was able to spend my morning on Friday
in the New Adventures School observing. I was overcome with emotion most of the
morning as I watched the 6th and 7th graders learning
math and English. In the middle of chaos, dirt, sewage, extreme poverty and
filth there is a group of children learning not only the basic subjects, but
also learning the truth about who God is and how He loves them. God has done a
great thing in New Adventures School. The teachers are dedicated to providing
quality education to the best of their abilities. Even with a crudely hung
chalkboard that has seen better days, a rag as an eraser and a stumpy piece of
chalkboard, they were able to turn simple pie charts into the hope of a future
for each student.
Three
or four students share one textbook and most of them do not own enough
notebooks to complete their work in, but yet they are eager and ready to learn.
They sit in dark, musty classrooms that have cement floors and low ceilings,
but yet their smiles do not portray their surroundings. The beaming faces
surrounded me as I sat in a desk with some of the students. They shyly asked my
name and where I was from and then giggled quietly when I told them America.
They asked me how I liked their school and did I like math? I had to answer
honestly and say yes I loved their school, but no I do not like math!
The
response was huge grins that lit up their faces.
I
decided in that moment that no matter where God takes me, whether I am here in
Kenya or home in America I will pray diligently for these students by name,
that they will fall in love with Jesus, succeed in school and pursue the dreams
they have hidden in their hearts.
For I
know looking out across the sea of faces that there are very big dreams hidden
deep inside - Dreams of becoming teachers, doctors, nurses, mothers, fathers,
singers, pastors, missionaries, shopkeepers, the list goes on and on.
Dreams
that do not require computers or expensive, filled classrooms, but that require
God's strength and an eagerness to learn all that is before them.
Please
do not wish for these students a better life, but do pray for a life that is
filled with God and his love. For when that is what you possess you are richer
than any human who has every material "thing" that there is to have.
Ephesians 3:18-19
"And I pray that you, being
rooted and established in love, may have power together with all the saints, to
grasp how wide and long and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love
that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the
fullness of God."
